Try outdoor places like parks, botanic gardens, or zoos. You can walk, sit and talk, or comment on what’s happening around you to avoid awkward silences. Choose places that play to your strengths. For example, don’t suggest happy hour on Thursday if you don’t drink and work makes you crabby. First dates are just as much about having fun as they are about getting to know each other. Go somewhere you enjoy to show your date the best time.
“Do you want to meet up at the new wine bar downtown tomorrow evening?” “Would you prefer a walk through the park or a visit to the art museum?” “How about we grab a drink Thursday night? Is that a good time for you?”
“Is 7:15 still good for tonight?” “Hey! Still on for dinner?” “Looking forward to tonight! 8pm still works, right?”
Try not to cyberstalk or Google the person to find out things they haven’t told you. It’ll come off as intrusive or strange. Say things like “I saw in your profile…” or “Stacy mentioned that you…” to reassure your date that your information comes from logical places.
Dress up enough to look like you’re going somewhere special versus out for a casual night with your buddies. When in doubt, keep it simple but elevated. Wear clean, unwrinkled clothes that fit you well and make you feel confident!
Go easy when you apply cologne—it usually smells stronger to others than it does to you. Be consistent with your grooming habits. Compliments about your appearance from coworkers or friends can boost your confidence before the big date!
Do whatever you like or need to do to get in a good headspace. If you’re comfortable before the date, you’ll make your date feel comfortable too.
Be mindful of how much fantasy you’re projecting. Optimism is good, but putting all your hopes on one person can lead to a disappointing outcome.
If you’re picking up and driving your date, aim to be right on time. Being early might be just as inconvenient as being late.
If they’re receptive to your efforts, you can try sitting closer to them or touching their hand a little bit. Make sure not to go overboard with touching too soon. Follow your date’s cues to see if they want to be touched, or ask them if it’s OK. When in doubt, skip the touching (especially on a first date).
It’s fine to say “You look great!” when you meet, but too many comments about their body can make them feel objectified. Delivering a sincere compliment makes your date feel good and makes you appear more confident and sure of yourself, too. Try some simple but thoughtful compliments like: “You have incredible eyes. ” “You’re so funny! The time is just flying by. ” “You’ve got great style. Those earrings are really eye-catching!”
If old relationships come up, only give yourself about 30 seconds to explain why it didn’t work out. Otherwise, your date might think you’re stuck on an ex. Focus on getting to know your date well enough to find points of connection or things you have in common to instigate a true, two-way conversation. Try: “I love that movie too! What’s your favorite part?” “I grew up in a rural area but love big city life. What brought you to the city?” “I love that you do volunteer work! That’s something I’m trying to do more of. How did you get started?”
Put your phone away so you’re not distracted. If you have it out, turn off your dating app notifications (yes, even if you met your date on an app). [6] X Research source
Try not to ask yes or no questions like “Do you have siblings?” or “Do you like pizza?” They lead to shallower answers than open-ended questions.
Alternatively, tell your date they can get the next round if they’re insistent. Splitting the bill is perfectly common and acceptable too. Avoid Venmo requesting money from your date while you’re still together if you’re splitting the bill. It’ll make you seem uptight about money. [8] X Research source
A shorter date also makes it easier for you to leave in case it’s not going well or you discover you’re not super interested in your date.
“How about we check out that new exhibition on Thursday?” “I’d love to meet up with you again. How about Sunday?” “I definitely want to see that speakeasy you mentioned. Maybe we could go this weekend. ”
Signs that your date wants a kiss could include lingering eye contact, light touching, flirting, softening their voice, or complimenting your lips or mouth. If you met online, chances are your date won’t want a kiss after just one date. If you knew each other before the date, they may be more open to it. Avoid handshakes if you like the person. A handshake makes the date seem like more of a business meeting than a fun time together. Many people (especially women) feel uncomfortable with a kiss until they get to know you better. It might take up to 3 dates before it feels right.
Consider declining an offer to come inside if they ask. It makes you seem polite and gentlemanly, and the anticipation for next time creates romantic sparks. [10] X Research source
In the early stages of getting to know someone, it’s better and more personal to give them a call rather than to text them.
Watch your social media—if you’re posting a ton but then come up with excuses about why you didn’t call or text, you could be in trouble.
